Schizophrenia
by RadaVonVon
Summary: Dib Membrane, in a world of depression, is all alone now. Always wrong. No one cares about him any more. But someone from his past has returned. And maybe... Just maybe... Will she find it in her heart not to break his? ONESIDED DATR - FIRST 2 CHAPTERS UP
1. Forsaken

"_You're crazy!"_

"_Big-head!"_

"_Schizophrenic!"_

"_Mental patient!"_

It hurt.

Man, how it hurt. How it hurt to be smacked in the face with insults every single day.

It burned.

God, how it burned. How it burned to be ridiculed, criticized, and shoved around every moment.

And it ached.

Ugh, how it ached. How it ached to constantly be reminded of his past. How it ached to be punched repeatedly after school, at least until they went home after getting tired, leaving him bruised and hurt.

"… Help me…" There were tears in his eyes, as he set the bouquet down in front of tombstone. "Help me, Mom."

His hand shot up to cover his mouth. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't.

Tears welled up in his chocolate eyes anyway, and he started to run.

No one could see him like this. He wasn't weak. He wouldn't lose this game. He'd already lost one.

Dib Membrane wouldn't lose again.

"Oh God, oh God…" He took his glasses off and wiped his eyes, and was suddenly angered to feel how damp they were.

He took a deep, shaky breath. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't even cry if he went home, Gaz would see him. Didn't it hurt her enough just to be ridiculed because of him?

Dib knew he just left a bruise on her.

He did with every breath that he took. Every step. Every movement he made. Just living now, he could tell. Though she acted like her normal self, she was seething on the inside.

He couldn't help but wonder why he had gone to his mother's grave. She was dead. She couldn't hear him. She never would again. He was that helpless.

He put his head down. His hands clenched into fists.

Once Dib reached the front door of the Membrane home, he opened the door and slammed it shut. Gaz was on the couch, playing with her Game Slave 3.

He walked up the stairs at a normal pace, trying to conceal how heavily he was breathing due to his long run.

He'd sleep for the rest of the day. He'd just change into his pajamas and sleep.

He still had to go to school, but it wasn't as though anyone would ever care, even notice, if he didn't go. He always stayed in the far back corner, where no one could see him. They wouldn't pay attention to him, so they wouldn't beat him up. Not until after school, at least.

Then they remembered to.

Zim never said much, not any more. He simply went through the days, throwing in a, "ZIM IS NORMAL!" just out of habit, every once in a while.

Dib slammed his backpack down in the computer chair. He never did the homework any more. Mrs. Bitters didn't say anything.

Nobody did any more. No one had come up to talk to him in months. Sure, at first, they had tried to cheer him up. They didn't make any crazy comments. Then, when he still refused to talk, they gave up.

They left him alone.

Every day from then, he was alone. He was always the one who ended up working alone on science projects because there was an odd number of students in the class.

Perhaps maybe the fact that he never did them was a factor as well.

Or not.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Dib woke up early the next morning. Something that hadn't happened in a long, long time.

Then he did something else abnormal.

He didn't know why. He wasn't sure, because he didn't remember going up the steps or anything…

He went up onto the roof.

He watched the sun rise.

He took off his glasses, and he cried. He drew up his knees and rested his forehead on them. He sobbed. Tears flowed from his eyes, making the knees of his flannel pajamas wet.

It took him several deep breaths to clear his head again.

He let himself fall back against the roof.

Maybe a normal fourteen year old should be worrying about normal things. What his grade was. When he got his allowance.

But… Really. Has Dib _ever_ been normal?

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Six months ago…_

"My Tallest!"

Zim bowed quickly in front of his rather tall leaders. They exchanged glances.

"Hey, Zim."

"Yes, Sirs?"

"Uh. We've wanted to say this for a while, but…" Purple took a long breath.

Zim nodded, his nonexistent brow furrowed.

"You're defected. Your planet… Your entire mission… It's a lie. All of it. You were never assigned to a special planet. We just wanted you to die in space."

There was a long moment of disbelieving silence.

"Wh… Wha… What?"

Red's eyes narrowed. "We're sending someone to come kill you. Expect them in six months."

Zim trembled as the words tumbled out of his leader's mouths.

"You…" He was paralyzed. Nothing came out.

Then he laughed.

"That… That… That was great! You almost fooled me."

The Tallest exchanged awkward glances.

"Believe what you want, Zim." Purple said, sighing and shaking his head.

The transmission was cut, leaving Zim to laugh with an abnormally insane pitch in his voice.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Dib looked down as always. He rode the bus. He got off. He went to school. He went home.

He kept his head down the whole time. They wouldn't hurt him then.

He had been right all along. Right about Zim, right about the Irkens. But he had given up. He was beaten up, made fun of, called crazy, and every other thing that was possible. And he had given up.

He had lost.

He had quit the Swollen Eyeball, they called him crazy, too. What had they ever done for him? Who ever had?

There was no reason for him to even stay in the world. The only thing that kept him was Gaz. She needed him.

He weighted her down, but for some reason… He got the sense that she would lose all sanity if he ever left.

Ever.

And it killed him to have him think that way. His sister, his beloved sister…

Becoming just the way he was now.

A cold, dark shell no one cared for any more.

Someone abandoned.

Condemned.

Forsaken.


	2. Returned

"_I'm going to get out of bed every morning. Breathe in and out all day long. And then after a while, I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed in the morning and breathe in and out." _

_-- Sam, "Sleepless in Seattle"_

"Class,"

Everyone looked up to see at Mrs. Bitters.

"It appears that after a TERRIBLY long series of HORRIBLE moving, a student has returned to our class."

His brain didn't register the words any more. He looked over at Zim, who's gaze suddenly became dark. His eyes glittered for a moment, and there was a hint of doubt.

Then, Dib looked up, and his mouth went dry.

Something sparked.

"He's an alien! AN ALIEN, I TELL YOU!" His fingernails were digging into his palms.

There was a gasp from everyone in the room.

The girl standing in the front looked up, surprise glittered in her violet eyes.

"I'm Tak. It's nice to see you have some crazy people in here."

_Tak…_Familiar, but not, at the same time. Where had he heard it?

Then it smacked him in the face, and he realized he was standing up, his hand pointing to Zim, with a stupid look on his face.

He sat down and put down his head.

But had that been…. Emotion? A burst of his past? More of his senseless, crazy yelling? Exactly the type of stuff he would get punched in the face for? A broken nose?

He had always been wrong, even though he had been right.

Then his mind went back to the name.

Tak.

What a strange name. It sounded almost… Alien.

Wait.

Alien…

That was it!

It hit him. The indigo hair, the tall frame… All of it! It fit!

… But he was still wrong.

He was always wrong. Dib Membrane was always wrong. Always, he lost.

If he were to say that two plus two equaled four, he would be wrong. Maybe it was just him. Of course it was him.

The thought came to him.

_How could someone so beautiful be an alien?_

It whacked him again. It was like a machine gun of thoughts.

Dib sighed. He looked up to realize he was still being stared at.

He looked away and his silent reverie started up again.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

He was walking home today.

He had too much to think about right now. It would be better to walk than endure the noisy bus. It had been a long time since he thought…

He was so used to the daily cycle of getting up and sleeping.

He hated to get up. He was always tired when he did. It was strange. Very, very strange.

Dib stopped walking for a moment, though his eyes were still focused on the ground.

He had forgotten who he was.

He didn't know who he was any more. He was Dib Membrane, of course, but he didn't remember how he would react to a joke, or tell a lie.

Had it really been that long? Two years…

Dib shut his eyes and sighed. Maybe he could irritate Zim.

That was what he normally did, wasn't it?

He went ahead and passed his house. Did he even know the way any more?

Dib's eyes squeezed shut for a moment, as if he was trying to get rid of a hallucination.

Then he took a deep breath and began to walk almost mindlessly.

He was there within five minutes.

How could Dib have forgotten that Zim lived just a few streets away?

Him! The over-obsessive, compulsive Dib!

Okay, so… Maybe if he went to Zim's, he could experience that clarity of the past that he had when Tak had been introduced. The… What was it called?

Oh yeah.

Nostalgia.

He took a breath, letting his head fall back in front of Zim's yard, adorned with the strange-looking garden gnomes.

Gently, he took a step.

No alarms set off. Sighing, he shook his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this…"

He set a hand on the doorknob and gently twisted it. It felt cold in his palm. Though there was a small trace of warmth…

As though it had recently been used by someone. He grimaced and thrust the door open.

There, on the ground, blood dripping from his mouth, and completely motionless, was Zim.


	3. Sorry, Guys Author's Note

Listen guys.

As much as I appreciate this "PLEASE CONTINUE PLZPLZPLZPLZ" junk, I'm just taking a break.

I'm wrapped up in personal stuff I've kept away from FanFiction.

And I know I'm going to get five hundred PM's asking about it.

So here it is.

My Uncle went back to our hometown for Rehab, promising that any of the checks from work he received there he would send here.

He did not keep his word, and for us, the winter was terrible, as always.

I've been busy with final exams, anger at my mother, turning twelve, (YES. I'm now twelve. XD It's beginning to seem less amazing. ;_;) Anyway, I'm leaving for San Diego again on July 7th or 8th, possibly. 

Green Day's gonna have a concert out there in August.

I got their new album. :D

Anyway, here's the deal:

Me getting these messages begging for me to continue is really digging in and adding to stress.

My life is riddled with a lot of things right now, a lot of them being lies. 

Yes, it's been better because it's now summer, but it still stresses me out. I'm not going to list everything, because this would be over 100k words, longer than any of my stories.

I have not forgotten about this, just keep that in mind.

I'm considering putting a lot of my stories up to be picked up by someone else, aside from Irksome and Unter Der Nachtsternen.

Anyway, if you're interested in picking some up, PM me. No promises I'll give it to anyone, even if your profile and record is perfect and godly.

Thanks for the patience of some of you, especially that of JoeMerl in the Invader Zim fandom. ^^ He has not been demanding or anything else, simply supporting and loyal.

So special thanks to him for all of his support.

Sincerely,

-- Rem/Kazuko/Yellow/Yelo/Vonni/Vonnie/Chavonne

PS - Forgot to mention, studying Japanese and going to start working towards Osaka University for college. ^^


End file.
